The Night they were Wed
by Voyfemme
Summary: Tom and B’Elanna’s big Day from a different perspective. JC, PT
1. Chapter 1

**Part 22: The night they were wed**

Summary:

Tom and B'Elanna's big Day from a different perspective. (J/C, P/T)

_Pairing:_JC, P/T _Rating_: PG-13 _Type of Story:_ Mush _Level_: 1

* * *

**Part 22: The night they were wed**

"What can I do for you both." Kathryn looked up at the two lieutenants in front of her. Her voice was measured because she was disappointed. She had meant it when she said she was in the race to win, but with what could have happened, she supposed she should just be glad that the two of them were standing in front of her instead of lying in torpedo tubes to be jettisoned into space; two more casualties on their journey through this quadrant.

Tom looked at B'Elanna and took her hand. She smiled at him. It was dazzling and Kathryn felt a warm smile reach her own lips as she realized what was happening in front of her.

"Captain we would like you to marry us." Tom said. Kathryn was beaming.

"I'd love to, when?"

"Right now"

"Right NOW? What's the rush?"

Tom looked at B'Elanna again and his next sentence answered Kathryn's question but he spoke it to B'Elanna.

"I've waited long enough and wasted too much time already, I don't want to waste another minute."

"What about the rest of the crew? Don't you want them to witness your special event?"

"We thought about it Captain. We don't want all the fuss, we just want to get married and besides I don't want to give Tom any chance to change his mind."

"That will never happen." Tom still hadn't faced the Captain since he had turned to B'Elanna. Kathryn saw the love in her helmsman's eyes and with all the joy she was feeling at that moment, a sweet pang of longing pierced her. She willed it away. She was not going to let anything spoil this day for them, not even the Captain's mood.

"We would like you to discretely call Harry and Chakotay to the station for us and we can get married there. There is this chapel that's set up to do unions twenty four hours a day, seven days a week."

"You want to get married on a space station in the Delta Quadrant?" Kathryn would have had a hard time believing this if she wasn't witnessing the love passing between her two officers.

"It is where we found each other, and we can safely say, we'll be the only humans listed in that chapel to get married."

"Well then let's get to it."

"Here is the location, Captain, we'll meet you Chakotay and Harry there in one hour? I left the ring pattern that we chose under pattern 65-R-Delta, but I don't have enough rations this month……."

"Say no more, consider it a wedding present from Chakotay and myself."

Tom and B'Elanna were too caught up in each other to realize that she had committed Chakotay to donating some of his rations for their wedding rings without his consent. Something that Tom or B'Elanna would have done for each other, but then the Captain and the Commander were just friends, so if they had thought about it, they would have found it odd.

"Thank you Captain"

* * *

"Commander Chakotay, Ensign Kim; please report to my Ready Room."

Harry looked at Chakotay and Chakotay shook his head, he had no idea what this was about.

When they came into the room Kathryn was standing up in front of her desk, beaming.

Chakotay was caught up in it. He hadn't seen her smile like that in a very long time. Harry was just confused.

"You wanted to see us Kathryn?" He didn't know why, but he used her name instead of her rank even though Harry was with them.

"Gentlemen, I just had a strange request. Tom and B'Elanna have just asked me to marry them…….." She paused for dramatic effect. "In one hour's time."

Chakotay was startled and Harry was dumbfounded.

"One hour?" Chakotay was the first to recover. Kathryn chuckled, she was glad that she wasn't the only one to be startled by what they were about to do.

"They're eloping. Harry, meet us in transporter room two in 45 mins, wear you dress uniform."

Harry broke out into a large smile. "Yes Ma'am." He couldn't be more pleased for his best friend.

As he turned to leave, Kathryn called him back.

"Ensign, you're forgetting something." Kathryn walked over to the replicator. She punched in the code.

_Lt Paris does not have enough rations for this object_

"Computer, obtain additional rations, half from Captain Janeway and the other from Commander Chakotay."

_Enter personal access codes._

Chakotay strolled to the replicator and entered his code after Kathryn entered hers. He smiled as he realized that she thought of everything, he wouldn't even have to worry about what he was going to give them now.

Harry stood there watching them, but his mind was still trying to wrap around the fact that Tom and B'Elanna were eloping so he didn't think that anything was strange about what had just happened.

The replicator produced a box and Kathryn gave it to Harry. He opened the box, saw the rings and his eyes watered. The Captain caught it and smiled again. "Not yet Harry, wait until the wedding starts."

Harry was too full to speak, so he simply turned and left the ready room.

"I don't……" Chakotay started, but Kathryn finished for him"…..believe it. I know and frankly neither do I. But they are so sure of themselves and so much in love." Kathryn's voice got a faraway tone to it before she snapped back to the moment here and now. Chakotay caught it and stepped closer to her. Kathryn willed those feelings away again, and this time the force at which she did so, was certain to keep them out of the way until things had settled down.

"Commander, ask Neelix to set up a private party in my quarters for the senior staff . Tell him to replicate a wedding cake and some champagne. Let him inform the senior staff privately when we're down there and gather them together. I'll release the security lock to my quarters on my way out."

"I'll remind you when I come and get you."

"I can get there on my own, besides, at the sight of the Captain and Commander in full dress uniform, some people might get suspicious."

Chakotay laughed. "What are they going to think? That _we're_ getting married? Come on Kathryn, we gave them the time off for the post-race festivities, they'll just think that's where we're going."

Why did her heart jump when he made that joke?

"And, you'll never be ready on time if I'm not there to prod you along." He said with a wicked grin on his face.

"You're on. If I win, you'll go to the dignitaries speech tomorrow morning."

"If I win,…….well I'll think of something." Chakotay gave up after nothing came to his mind immediately. He knew it was because he was still reeling from what was going on.

"Oh, Kathryn, what about the banquet tonight?"

"Chakotay! I completely forgot about it." Kathryn was dismayed. She was expected to show up with Ambassador O'Zaal. She thought about it for a second and then a determined look crossed her face. "Make my apologies Commander, I have been unavoidably delayed by a matter of some urgency that has arisen on my ship." Her face lightened with a quirky smile.

Chakotay was shocked. "You're turning down a diplomatic invitation to be with your senior staff at a surprise wedding party that can be postponed?"

"I can think of no place I'd rather be." Kathryn smiled and Chakotay shook his head and did the same thing. She had come so far on this journey, he would like to think that he had some part to play in the Captain that she was now.

"And besides, there's still the matter of the honeymoon." Kathryn added.

Chakotay thought about it and came up with an idea and a wicked smile. "The Delta Flyer II still needs major repairs; the warp core is off line, we're going to be here for at least two more days and the job can be done in space by two seasoned officers……"

"Chakotay!" Kathryn said in mock horror as she got the picture. "You're going to make them work on their honeymoon.!"

"Well, we don't have to insist that the repairs be complete BEFORE they report back to do duty."

Kathryn was laughing as they left the Ready Room.

* * *

He rang the chime, grinning.

_She's mine._ He thought wickedly.

"Come in." It was a bark more than a command or even a request.

He was outright laughing as he saw her rushing about her quarters looking for something as he entered.

"Don't say it!" She warned; her face like a thundercloud but still smiling. He wondered how she could do that.

"Me!" He asked innocently, "I'm too busy thinking about what I want for winning this bet."

Kathryn clucked her tongue.

"Did you talk to Neelix?"

"Yes, he's all set. He's beside himself with happiness and mad at them for not letting him have a hand in their reception."

"Let's hope that he can keep his mouth shut for at least half an hour." Kathryn said as she stormed into the living room where he was standing. She was in her dress uniform, but she was looking around for something. He hadn't seen her in it since the since the last memorial service, in fact he hadn't seen her in it for anything except a funeral. She looked different for some reason. Maybe it was just the occasion.

Kathryn was overturning and rearranging everything in sight, finally he couldn't stand it anymore.

"Kathryn what are you looking for?"

"I'm missing one of my dress pips, I can't find it anywhere."

Chakotay thought for a moment, and then walked over to couch, bent down under the foot of it and removed an item.

"Here." He said proudly.

She looked at him with wonder on her face.

"How did you know that was there?" She turned her neck so that he could put the pip in the appropriate place.

"I remember seeing something reflecting the candle light last time I was here for dinner, but I was so wrapped up in what we were talking about, that it registered and it didn't go any further." He told her as he fastened her pip.

"You did that on purpose." She said chuckling.

"You know me better than that." He said with his eyes twinkling. "Ready to go?" He crooked his arm, with a large smile she took it.

* * *

"This is it Tom, your bachelor days are over." Kathryn stood in front of her helmsman and smiled. She had never seen such a look of peace and contentment on Tom's face as she was seeing now. She realized with a start that the angry, wise-cracking, hard con-man and Starfleet Academy drop out was gone and in his place stood a man who had learned from his mistakes and was determined to do right by those who loved him.

"Not a moment too soon." Tom answered

"Any second thoughts?" Harry interjected at his side. They had to be in the gaudiest of chapels. Orange swirls, blue flowers, red clouds and violet foliage. He felt as though his eyes were bleeding. But his best friend's eyes were shinning and looking at the door where B'Elanna was supposed to come out. He didn't think that Tom had noticed the décor.

"Second…third…..fourth." Tom was smacking his lips.

"Please, save the painsticks for the honeymoon. Boy I'm glad that I'm not on Deck nine section 12." Harry countered.

"Oh that reminds me Captain, We're going to need bigg……."

Tom stopped in mid sentence as B'Elanna and Chakotay began to walk across the room to meet him.

* * *

"I don't believe I'm doing this." B'Elanna said to Chakotay as she fussed over her Starfleet dress uniform.

"I do." Chakotay said simply and smiled at her.

"That's supposed to be my line." She retorted.

"And you're going to say it because you love him B'Elanna, with your whole heart."

"The problem has never been my feeling for Tom, but his feelings for me."

"You're the only one making that a problem. His feelings for you have always been plain B'Elanna, it's just that sometimes, men have a hard time putting into words what they feel."

"You never seem to have that problem."

"You've never been involved with me."

"Good point, I'll ask the Captain." B'Elanna shot back.

Chakotay chuckled, "Yeah, you're just a '_little nervous'_." B'Elanna joined him for a while and then turned serious again

"Do you think you'll ever have a day like today Chakotay?" Her eyes were brimming with love.

"If I'm half as happy as you are, I hope so." He answered her. He kissed her on the cheek.

"I wish that you'll be as happy as I am right now, you deserve no less. Thanks Chakotay for everything. I couldn't have gotten to this point without you." B'Elanna was sincere, but the fact that it was true touched Chakotay more than anything. He couldn't remember when his heart was so full.

"He's waiting for you B'Elanna." He gave her the crook of his arm and slowly they began to walk together.

Tom hadn't taken his eyes off of B'Elanna since she started walking towards him and when she stood by his side, he understood how right that she should be there. All the bumps and bruises that they had inflicted on each other had led her to be at his side that day. He had no idea what he did to deserve her, but he was never going to let her go.

All the worry and doubts that B'Elanna had in the room disappeared from the time she took her place at Tom's side. Here is where she belonged. All the places that she had been trying to fit into so long, her family, Starfleet, the Maquis and Voyager had truly led her home to Tom's side.

"Be well my sister, now and always and know that you are loved." Chakotay whispered in her ear as he kissed her cheek.

"Take care of her Tom, or else we'll settle our differences like we did in the Maquis, the old fashion way."

"Believe me sir, that is something you'll never have to do. From now on, her needs will come first for the rest of our lives."

He barely noticed the surprised look on Chakotay's face when he said that.

Chakotay was struck by the comment for a reason that Tom would not have been able to figure out even if he had caught the look. He pushed the memory aside when Kathryn began to speak.

* * *

"We're gathered here today, all _five_ of us not as Starfleet officers, but as friends and family, to celebrate the marriage of two of Voyager's finest. As Captain, the honor of joining these two people has fallen to me. But before I declare them husband and wife, Tom and B'Elanna have prepared their own vows."

Tom spoke first telling B'Elanna and all what was in his heart at that moment.

"I still don't know what I've done to deserve you. But….but whatever it is, I'll try to keep doing it. And I promise to stand by you, to honor you, till death do us part." With those words he officially gave his heart to B'Elanna for the rest of his life.

Harry was looking at them, tears cascading down his cheeks

"Ensign?" Kathryn said gently.

"Oh," He grinned sheepishly and gave Tom B'Elanna's ring.

Tom gazed deeply into B'Elanna's eyes and said as he placed ring on her finger. "May this ring be the symbol of our eternal love." He drowned in the love he saw in B'Elanna's eyes.

B'Elanna's heart heard his promises and hers spoke to his as her promises rose to meet his.

""You stood by me...when most people would have run for the nearest airlock." Tom smiled as those times flashed before his eyes "You were willing to see past my shortcomings, and to take all the bumps and bruises that came along with it. You made me a better person. Even though I put up one hell of a fight." _It was worth every broken bruised ego, every defense toppled_. Tom project his thoughts to her. "I look forward to our journey together," she concluded.

Chakotay handed her Tom's ring and B'Elanna placed it on his finger saying, "May this ring be a symbol of our eternal love."

Their love was a force, a force that had pulled them together when they had individually been trying to push away from each other. Their love always compelled them towards each other as it did at this moment.

"Not so fast." Kathryn said with love in her voice as she interrupted their last attempted kiss as lovers.

"Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris. Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres. With the power vested in my by Starfleet Command, and the United Federation of Planets, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

He was drowning in her eyes and in her love. The words that were just said were a pale indication to what was he was seeing in her heart right now, and what he was sure he was projecting from his as well.

"Now, Tom." Kathryn said when she realized that they were stuck in each other's eyes.

It was a kiss that told everyone in the room whose they were and the sheer wonder and joy that the couple was feeling at that very moment when very first time they kissed as husband and wife.


	2. Chapter 2

"Congratulations!"

"You told them Captain?" Tom and B'Elanna were surprised to see the entire senior staff in the Captain's Quarters. They were expecting to have a quiet drink with the Captain and the Commander.

"You didn't expect to fully elope without even seeing your family before your honeymoon did you?"

"We knew that you didn't want the fuss, so this solves everything. Everyone had half an hour to get ready and the gifts will come after your honeymoon."

"Something we didn't get around to planning." Tom was still looking in B'Elanna's eyes and she was still glowing as he said that.

"Not to worry, Commander Chakotay and I already took care of that."

"Here is your away mission assignment." He handed them each a PADD, they frowned at first and then each of the lieutenants broke out in huge grins.

"I think they read the part about not expecting the work to be completed when they get back."

"Judging from that look in Lieutenant Paris' eyes, I think you're right Captain." She playfully gave him a tap as she started giggling.

* * *

"Shame on the two of you for eloping and not inviting me, I could have performed the most exquisite selection of wedding operas." The Doctor came up to them and was shaking Tom's hand as he addressed both he and B'Elanna.

"Why do you think you weren't invited" Harry walked up to trio and slapped the Doctor on the back. The Doctor made a face at him and then proceeded to pointedly ignore him.

"Congratulations." He kissed B'Elanna on the cheek as he said so. She looked at him with amusement and then inexplicably, with friendship. She was glad that the Captain and Chakotay had thought to plan this. She would not have known what she was missing. This made their perfect day a little more complete.

Speaking of which, she glanced over at her two Commanding Officers giggling and enjoying themselves talking to Tuvok who was as stoic as ever. Maybe Tom was a little pre-mature in giving up on them in the pool.

* * *

"Congratulations Lieutenants." Tuvok came up to them and Tom could swear he saw a slight grin on the Vulcan's face.

"Thank you Tuvok." Tom answered for both of them.

"If there is anyone who can keep him in line, I know it is you Lt Torres, but please remember, we do have need of his services at the helm in order to fulfill our mission."

B'Elanna grinned. "Tuvok was that an attempt at a joke?" Tom asked

"Yes, did I succeed?" The Vulcan enquired.

" A little." Tom didn't want to say anything too negative, especially on the happiest day of his life.

"Then perhaps a Vulcan prayer as you begin your life together would be better."

"May you always know the peace of being with the one who completes you.

May the bond that you have formed today make you of one soul."

Tom opened his mouth and then closed it. Once again, Tuvok surprised him.

"Thank you Tuvok. That sounds like a good prayer for us to have." It was B'Elanna who answered them.

* * *

"I fail to understand the necessity of being with one person for the rest of one's life." She was getting better, but Seven still had a lot to learn about making conversation."

"It's not a necessity Seven, it's a choice." Neelix answered, bubbly as ever with the joyous of the occasion infecting him.

"But then, how will one remain open to social situations with a wide variety of individuals. I don't think I would want to be dependent on anyone. By marrying, one limits one's romantic interactions to a single individual--a circumstance which implies extreme monogamy."

"What you find out when you fall in love Seven, is that living with that limitation and the right person is one of the most concrete way that you can remain open to social situations with a wide variety of that individual. You'll find out that there is nothing more freeing than being that dependent."

Neelix moved to refill B'Elanna's glass with Champagne leaving Seven of Nine to ponder what he had said.

"Indeed." Tuvok had heard the tail end of that conversation and moved to join in.

"You agree with him Commander? But your wife is Vulcan, she has not changed since the day you married."

"You mistake controlled emotion for lack of growth. We have both partaken in a variety of experiences during our life together and those experiences, as varied as they are, have helped us to grow in our logic and deepen our bond since we first formed it. It is unfortunate that I should be so far away from her now."

"You miss her?"

"I recall how much we have experienced together and how much I have learned through our shared life. I realize that I could be better if she were here with me and in that way, I do, what you would term "miss" her."

Seven had been studying the Captain and the Commander as Tuvok had been speaking. He knew that Seven possessed an efficient brain and she had heard what he had said and was pondering it, but as she opened her mouth to ask a question he guessed correctly about the nature of her question and replied.

'I believe I have already told you my views on speculation."

Seven changed her mind from what she was going to say. "Yes, you have."

* * *

"If everyone would raise their glasses please I'd like to propose a toast." Harry did the honors this time

"To Tom, my best friend, Captain Proton. You know what they say about the heroes……they always get the girl." The room snickered at that.

"To B'Elanna, don't hurt him too much, he has to drive." The room burst out laughing but Harry pasted the smile on his face until it hurt. He didn't know why, but since coming to the party, and seeing the joy on his best friends faces, he felt extremely lonely.

* * *

They walked in silence down the corridor and most of the people that they met were a little startled to see the entire senior staff with Seven and Neelix in dress uniform, but given the festivities that were going on, they assumed that they were just returning from, or going to, one of the post-race functions.

They reached the Shuttle bay and formed a circle around the Delta Flyer. Tom snickered when he saw the back of it. "Nice Touch Harry."

"I didn't do it." Harry protested.

"Actually I did. I did some research and this was something that they used to do for newly weds in the twentieth century. I thought it'd make a nice touch." Neelix spoke up.

Chakotay smiled as he gestured to the bulkhead above him and asked. "Before you go, care to do the honors Tom and B'Elanna?" They nodded.

"All hands this is the First Officer, Lts Paris and Torres have an announcement to make."

Down in Engineering Lt Nicholetty started screaming. Ensign Goldwatt and crewman Henley were holding hands and jumping up and down squealing themselves and hugging each other.

"I knew it, I knew it., I _knew it_"

Vorik pulled out his phaser, ready to defend them against an on board intruder when he heard Lt Nicholetty begin screaming. When he saw the others acting strangely, he finally understood what was going on and holstered his phaser. Females were the most perplexing sex of any species.

"We would like the crew to know……." Tom began

"…….that we got married today." B'Elanna finished for him

The squeals of delight were heard throughout the ship via the two-way Com signal. Lt Ayala was heard to say "Dalby you owe one bottle of Irish whiskey, I prefer a single malt………."

"I wonder what part of the Relationship Buffet we weren't privy to?" Tom whispered to B'Elanna and she giggled.

"All hands, this is the Captain, Lts. Paris or Lts. Torres, we'll probably know when they get back from their honeymoon, will be away for the next two days, you can give them your congratulations when they get back. Chakotay will divide up their work detail and new rotations will be given tomorrow." There was a collective groan and Crewman Gerron was heard to say "Thanks a lot guys."

The senior staff individually hugged and shook hands with Tom and B'Elanna as they got in the flyer. And in that manner, the two Lieutenants started their new life together; lost in an unfamiliar part of space, with a broken warp drive, in a borrowed shuttle. Still, they felt as if they were the luckiest and richest people in the universe, because they had each other and their friends……_their family.

* * *

_

"Computer locate Harry Kim?"

_Harry Kim is in Holodeck two._

She must be crazy going to him, but she'd like to think that he wouldn't push her away and she had a feeling that he was a little down. Sometimes it seemed like life was always just a little harsh on Harry Kim. She knew he needed a friend right now, and she wanted to be that friend to him. She only hoped that she could keep her feelings for him out of it. She wanted to be there as a friend tonight. She knew that right now, he wouldn't be ready for anything else.

* * *

"Oh what a day." Kathryn said as she entered her quarters. She sank into the couch and the first thing that she did was to pull off her boots and put her head back. Chakotay had made his way to the replicator, and he used his rations to order another bottle of champagne and two glasses. He set them on the table and cut another two slices of cake onto clean plates. Kathryn eyed him from the couch. 'No thanks Chakotay, I've had enough." Chakotay didn't say anything as he placed her setting opposite his. He opened the bottle of champagne and poured them both a glass.

"OK, just a toast then."

"OK" Kathryn sighed, got off the couch and padded around in her socks to the table. She firmly pushed away the cake and took up the glass of champagne. Chakotay was trying hard to contain a smile.

"To Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris," She began.

"And to Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres." He finished.

"May they have a long and happy hitch." Kathryn finished. Their glasses clinked. Chakotay took a sip and began to eat his slice of cake, thoroughly enjoying the Jabalean fudge.

"Who would have thought when we started out seven years ago that we would have seen this day?" Kathryn mused.

"Not me. I thought I would have been disciplining her for breaking various parts of his anatomy throughout this entire journey." Chakotay spoke up. He didn't say a word when Kathryn began to pick absent mindedly at the slice of cake. It was one of the few dishes that Neelix did well and he knew that Kathryn couldn't resist it. It was her favorite.

"And I thought that I would have had to be disciplining him for conduct unbecoming an officer the entire trip. I didn't think that he could ever be anything more than a mercenary and a scoundrel. I'm happy that I was proven wrong." Kathryn said

"And I'm glad I gave B'Elanna the chance to be a good Officer. She has never let me down since that first year." Kathryn smiled as she continued. Chakotay was grinning and looking at the space in front of her on the table. With a start she realized that she had finished off the cake and he had noticed. She joined him in chuckling. She waited until he finished his slice and poured them another glass of champagne.

"You know I've been engaged to be married twice and I never thought of eloping. I always wanted to have a proper wedding." _Where the hell did that come from?_

"What kind of wedding were you planning?" Chakotay asked, this was a side of Kathryn he didn't know about, and he was curious.

"Traditional Starfleet, lots of Admirals and Captains, in the heart of Starfleet Headquarters, a large band, champagne flowing from a spigot."

Chakotay laughed, that sounded like the Kathryn whom he met seven years ago alright.

"That sounds more like a diplomatic reception than a wedding reception." He commented.

"Well, Justin was in Starfleet and even though Mark was a philosopher, I knew that his friends would fit in that kind of scene with ease." Kathryn smirked.

"And what would have happened if you had married an ordinary man for love." He asked his eyes dark and mysterious.

"I don't date ordinary men Chakotay, far less for marrying one." He laughed again and the sound was like a melody in Kathryn's ear.

'Well I'll believe that." He said finally, taking another sip of his champagne.

"What about you Chakotay, how would you get married? Is there a special kind of wedding ceremony that your people have?" The last question was only used to soften the first, so that it would not seem as personal as she had intended it to be.

"My people do have sacred and ancient rituals that our tribe uses during weddings, but I never thought about it. If I were to get married, I don't think I would undergo the rituals. Our people believe that some marriages are for life and death. Once one spouse dies, the other would wait until they were caught up in the spiritual world and be together for eternity. If I were to guess, I think that I would get married in a simple Starfleet ceremony. I don't think I've ever been involved with someone who I would want to be with for eternity."

_But there is someone I know with whom I would think about it._

He knew the time had passed, but he realized if it were to be anyone, then Kathryn was by far the only woman who he could possibly say, had touched his soul, and she would be the only one who he would go through the ceremony with. But theirs wasn't that type of love anymore, it had grown into something deeper than that, still wasn't romantic any longer. He wondered if he would ever meet another woman who would have such a profound impact on his life like Kathryn. He doubted it.

Something needled him, but he ignored it due to the look that he was seeing on Kathryn's face.

_What was the matter with her?_ Kathryn thought as suddenly as she realized that she never felt as lonely as she did now, after hearing what he just said.

She got up suddenly and called out to him, "Come on Chakotay, you're not leaving me to do this by myself. Let's start getting this place in order." She busied herself with taking down streamers and gathering dishes.

Maybe he was wrong, maybe it was just the light in her quarters, but he could have sworn that a sad look had flitted across her face for an instant. Her voice betrayed nothing; it was the same as it always was when Kathryn was giving an order.

'Yes Ma'am." He got up. He would just leave it as he was wrong.

"I don't think they were too mad at us. I think we did well, striking a balance between having a mob scene and nobody knowing about their marriage." He called out to her as he began to help her clear up.

"Yes, I think we did." Kathryn answered quietly. Chakotay placed all the dishes in the replicator to recycle as Kathryn made that statement. It was then that he realized that he was right, something was up but he couldn't figure out what it was. He pushed the recycle button and concentrated on using the sanitizer to sweep up all the confetti while Kathryn cleaned down all the counters and straightened her knick-knacks. They were OK as they were, but she continued to rearrange them. He was perplexed.

"Kathryn?" She kept her back to him as she stood and said. "You know what we forgot? The music. I'm surprised that Tom and B'Elanna didn't want to have a first dance as husband and wife. You know we could have called up one of those…what was it? "Rock and Roll" songs that he's so fond of, I'm sure we could have found one for the occasion. Ensign Ashmore told me that Tom had a program where you could sit in an ancient automobile and "park", I believe it was called, with the one you love. There was a 'radio' in the car and you could program what song you wanted to play……" Kathryn moved again to the replicator as if she were looking for something to recycle. Chakotay was shocked, Kathryn Janeway was babbling.

He stood up swiftly and crossing the room silently he moved and stood right in front of her. He had startled her so much that she looked up momentarily and he saw the sadness on her face, and memories of one night, half a year ago came to him. He smiled sadly sharing her emotion.

"Did you and Mark have a song planned to dance to at your wedding." He asked carefully and gently.

"Yes, we did."

"What was it?"

She told him. He ordered the computer to play it. She stood looking at him, not daring to breathe.

"Consider this payment for the bet I won earlier today. I know that I'm not your fiancé Kathryn, but I am your best friend and right now you are in pain. So let me stand in, for the person that you reached out to twice to get but couldn't. Pretend, just for one dance, that I'm everything that you need right now."

Kathryn didn't think twice, she let herself be guided in his arms. He said softly in her ear. "I realize that I am poor substitute."

"Actually Chakotay, you would never be a poor substitute for them, or for anyone else." He chuckled as he held her tighter, safer in his arms, doing in friendship what he promised that he would do for her as First Officer; making her burden lighter. He prayed to the spirits then and there for her, for them to guide her to the right man to fulfill her dreams and enable her to be as happy as B'Elanna was right now. He also prayed; that he would be there on that day to see her filled with joy and to stand by her side as she joined her life to another, no longer being as alone as she was right now, and no longer needing him.

He realized that when that day came, he would lose a part of her that he had right now, but it was worth it for her to finally be happy. Kathryn Janeway deserved no less.

Kathryn didn't say anything else, because if she were to open her mouth she would tell him that he was everything that she ever needed, and that Justin and Mark were poor substitutes for him as a lover of her soul.

She knew that she was vulnerable right now, unable to do what she had before, to will away her loneliness. But the one thing that she knew right then, was that she trusted Chakotay. So she danced with him as the tears silently ran down her face and wet his chest. She danced with him as she thought of the two lieutenants who were now beginning their life together. She danced with him as she thought of her own missed opportunities because of this upside down mission to the Delta Quadrant and she danced with him as she thanked his spirits for sending him to her, because she knew without a doubt, she could never have made it this far without his quiet love and support and without him doing exactly what he was doing right now.

Giving her a safe place to be.

And he didn't think twice to offer, and neither did she to accept, when they finished and he pulled her down to the couch in his arms. He watched her as she fell asleep there, safe and comfortable and when he was satisfied that she was in deep sleep, he gently carried her to her bed and tucked her in as he had done before. As he watched her sleeping, he knew that she would wake the next day, rejuvenated and ready to face the quadrant again and in that knowledge he felt a familiar peace.

As her best friend and First Officer, it was what he was there for.

The End

**Part 23Looking Back**


End file.
